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For Now

What will the future questions be?

It’s a foggy morning. We pull out of the garage a few minutes later than I’d like, drop Fourteen at his bus stop and Eleven and I are off for before-school orchestra. Somehow I scrambled to get everything together, including a cup of tea in my travel mug, and I think I’ve got what I need to move through this day. It doesn’t mean everything’s going to get done or I won’t be scrambling again, but for a moment I can just navigate through the fog that envelops the morning.

Today Overneath It All commemorates the 148th anniversary of Rilke’s birth by living a different type of question. There have been a few moments in my life when I have felt I’ve arrived, maybe not at the answers, but at a place where there aren’t so many nagging questions. Today is one of those days. I know what I’m doing, what I’m meant to be doing, what my to-do list looks like, what my work is … I know too that I need to relax more, let go what I can’t accomplish, and move into each new moment breath by breath. I know that I can’t hold off the big sparkly holiday that’s three weeks away—just as the Grinch learns each year—and I know I will cope with that too. I know that I am content for life’s events and challenges to continue at the current pace, for now.

Which means I’m wondering what questions will present themselves to live into in 2014.

I see transition as a gradient change—by the end of January we’ll be in a new place, a new year, and there will be necessarily new and as yet unimagined challenges. There will be, too, new year’s visualizations, new goals, new dreams. My thought for today—embrace the blank space, the white canvas, the empty, noiseless future as simply that, a panel that will slide open and reveal questions, dreams and challenges when it’s time. So the question, for now, is What will the questions be? I can live with that.

I beg you … to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.

Rilke

May the fog help you see just what’s in front of you and may your new moon be revealing to you—if you’re so inclined, feel free to post the questions you’re living and the visualizations you are formulating for 2014 in the comments space. See you here, in the moonlight, and on the mat. Thanks, as always, for being a part of my journey and for honoring me with a glimpse of yours, RxoImage

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About Robin Bourjaily

I currently perform my own stunts as a mother, writer, editor, yoga instructor, and certified Yoga As Muse facilitator. Overneath It All is a medium for sharing my stories--my commitment is to post on the full and new moons, plus or minus a day or two, and the occasional personal holiday. My novel, Throwing Like a Girl, is now available in e-formats on Smashwords. Please visit https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/516628 to download. Thanks for checking in. xoR

One response »

  1. Dear Robin,
    This post first makes me want to google Rilke. And then I want to thank you for saying it is okay to basically live in the present moments and let the future happen as it always will; to
    accept the things I cannot change and be satisfied with that conclusion.
    I need to let the past be truly the past. And move forward without guilt and have joy in my life.
    Wishing you and your family Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!
    Jane

    Reply

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